Resistance Is Futile!

Posted: March 4, 2009 in Nitegator

Golfers from all over know they cannot resist the calling of the greens. People that are not golfers cannot understand why we do what we do. What am I talking about, Hernando Assistant Police Chief Shane Ellis, Lt. Charlie Terry and Lt. Roger Swatzyna. They went golfing while on the clock. Wait! Don’t get mad, Don’t start yelling ‘they were on the clock!’ Golfers, you know the feeling and many us have experienced THIS URGE, and snuck in a quick round.

First let me tell you about a golfer, this is not a normal person. Look at the golfer next time you see one and notice, they walks around with fourteen sticks in a bag that they carry on their backs, they wear funny shoes with teeth at the bottom, they balance a little ball on a stick stub, that they stick in the ground, and then the golfer try to hit the little ball that they balanced on the stick stub 300 yards, after that they try to roll the little ball in a hole in the ground that has a flag sticking out. Is this your normal person? The golfer will get up early in the morning, drive 100 miles, just to play 18. A golfer will LIE TO HIS WIFE, tell her all kind of lies just to play 18. The golfer will play in the rain, sub freezing temperatures, hands so cold they cannot grip the clubs, blistering heat, I mean temperatures that are past 100 degrees, heat stroke, pasting out conditions, all while hauling those sticks and little balls. I know golfers with allergies and will get out in all that grass, eyes burning, nose running, sneezing, but has to play 18, uh that might be me. Is this your normal person?

If you really want to experience the abnormal golfer look at some of the members of the PGA… rebel John Daly, volcano dust eating Jesper Parnevik, grinning Phil Mickelson, and im including every sunday ,red shirt wearing Tiger Woods. See there golfers don’t think like regular people. Try this, ask a golfer about his round, he start talking a lingo you will never understand, ‘I birdied the 3rd hold, boogied the 6th hole, took a provision on the 7th, pared the 10th, by this time I was 7 over par and was slicing all over the back 9’ huh!! So you have to look at the Shane Ellis, Charlie Terry and Roger Swatzyna and consider ‘they are not normal’, they are golfers!

These allegations against Shane Ellis, Charlie Terry and Roger Swatzyna are very seriously because it involves the taxpayer’s money, but a golfer only needs one hour to satisfy his needs or a quick nine (some more of that lingo). To tell the truth, I think a fourth person got mad because the other three didn’t pick him up, and he told on the other three, see golfer play in foursomes. As a result they have been demoted and are off the job for several days. They’ve been suspended without pay, why, because Resistance Is Futile!


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